January 2022

TBO Website Admin / From Our Presidents /

One of the many benefits of being Jewish for me is that I get to make a fresh start twice each year. We Jews all get to start a new year together in the fall on Rosh HaShanah. Then I get to make another set of intentions for myself (often very similar ones) on the secular New Year, January 1. How lucky to get a clean slate two times!

Sometimes hitting the reset button is exactly what we need to be motivated to become our best selves. While we usually think of this in terms of individuals, I think that might be true for our community as well. At the time of this writing, we are still in the midst of our voting process for our facilities decision. By the time you are reading this, I am hoping that a course of action will have been chosen and we will be heading down that path. For our community, in a lot of ways, making this choice (whichever choice it is) is a golden opportunity for us to make a set of intentions for ourselves and to hit the reset button.

During our first Town Hall Meeting we were asked to identify what we are most afraid of in this process. A response that came up over and over again was a fear that the congregation would be split by this decision, become divided. My sense is that this process has in fact made us a stronger, more connected congregation and that we have not become divided.

As we move forward as a congregation, I hope that whichever course of action we have chosen, we will continue to embrace the same openness, attentive listening, and respectful discourse we have had over the last several months. For those whose first choice was not selected, I want us all to hear how we as a community can address any outstanding or residual concerns those folks have in proceeding down the selected path. How can we reduce their qualms and make them more comfortable with the option selected?

Now that we have completed this phase of our facilities process, let’s be sure that we continue to be open minded and sensitive to everyone’s perspective, and strive to incorporate input from all of our members as we implement the selected course of action.

L’shalom,

Melanie (she/her)

President

TBO Website Admin / From our Rabbi, Rabbi Kort /

Note about language: ‘bar mitzvah’ means “son of the commandment”; ‘bat mitzvah’ means “daughter of the commandment.” B’nei mitzvah is the plural form and is also used as gender inclusive and nonbinary. B-mitzvah can also be used as gender inclusive and nonbinary.

This winter, I’m excited to officiate b’nei mitzvah ceremonies for Jonathan Hill and Alex Klarman that were postponed due to COVID-19. Working with two teens who are a little bit older than thirteen, I found myself wondering why are b’nei mitzvah ceremonies typically held at thirteen?

For a people whose history spans three thousand years, b’nei mitzvah is a relatively new ceremony. Until the middle ages, young children regularly participated in rituals like leading prayer, reading Torah, and fasting on Yom Kippur. Rabbinic attitudes towards children’s ritual leadership changed over time and children were prohibited from certain practices until adulthood, which the Talmud defines as thirteen for boys. Bar mitzvah ceremonies were created as special celebrations around boys reading Torah and wearing tefillin for the first time on their thirteenth birthday and became widespread in the 17th century.

COVID times have been incredibly challenging for families preparing for b’nei mitzvah. As families navigated uncertainty and moved beyond thirteenth birthdays, the values surrounding b’nei mitzvah became more prominent. B’nei mitzvah is not a significant birthday celebration, rather a celebration of Jewish life, learning, connection to the community, and living life as a mensch.

Last month, former House Representative Gabrielle Giffords became a bat mitzvah at age 51. Giffords had begun to explore her Jewish ancestry in the early 2000 with her local Tucson rabbi. Despite limitations from the gunshot wound she survived in 2011, she continued her Jewish studies. But she needed the support of a learning community to help her achieve becoming bat mitzvah; Giffords recruited two friends to be a part of an adult b’nei mitzvah class.

B’nei mitzvah can be a meaningful experience beyond thirteen. We hope to begin an adult b’nei mitzvah class in the spring of 2022, with a ceremony taking place in spring/summer 2023. The experience will be an opportunity to engage in deep Jewish learning, be a part of a learning community, and participate in a b’nei mitzvah ceremony at Temple Beth Or. This course is not limited to first time Torah readers. If you had a bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah at an earlier age, you are welcome to participate and “renew your covenant.”

Please join me for an informational session on Tuesday, January 25 at 7:00 pm over Zoom.

Mazel tov to Jonathan, Alex, and Gabby Giffords too.

Rabbi Rachel Kort

(she/her)