From Our Presidents

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I am honored to serve as the President of the 2021-22 Temple Beth Or Governing Board (GB) and look forward to working with this GB. While I have known some of you for nearly 30 years, some of you I have yet to meet – so I thought I should properly introduce myself.

I grew up in a Maryland suburb of Washington D.C. in a not very observant Conservative Jewish home with two older brothers. My parents were a mixed marriage, my mother being from Brooklyn (Dodgers fan) and my father from Manhattan (Yankees fan). I attended college and graduate school in Minnesota and California, studying Chemistry and Engineering. I did some other moving around but eventually my husband, Vinaya Chepuri, and I moved to Mukilteo in 1993 and joined TBO soon thereafter. We have two adult children. Our daughter, a mathematician, lives in Minneapolis. She is working virtually for the University of Michigan as a post-doctoral fellow. Our son lives in Iowa City, where he is pursuing his PhD in Astronomy at the University of Iowa. Both attended TBO Religious School and became b’nei mitzvah on the TBO bimah.

I retired from engineering consulting in the late 90’s to manage our increasingly chaotic household and to volunteer in the community. In addition to various TBO roles, assisting with the kids’ school activities and volunteering with other organizations, I served on the boards of the Mukilteo YMCA and the Kamiak High School Performing Arts Boosters. I also served on the Park and Arts Commission and on the Planning Commission for the City of Mukilteo.

When not answering emails, I love being outside. I am not an adrenaline seeking adventurer. I just like to putter in the yard, walk in the neighborhood, kayak in flat water, play in the water or snow, and go for moderate hikes. I also love music and singing and anything to do with food – growing it, preparing it, talking about it, eating it. . . . Pre-COVID, I recall that I enjoyed travelling.

I can’t end this article without acknowledging the fantastic leadership of the outgoing President, Vicky Romero. She had a very tough set of challenges. She was absolutely the right president for us in that time. We needed someone with her dedication and focus to get us through those difficult issues. Thanks, Vicky for all of your hard work. We were really lucky to have your service.

Shalom,

Melanie

afriedma / From Our Presidents /

Dear Temple Beth Or Members,

Shalom. It is with great sadness that I need to let you know that Rabbi Marshall will not be renewing her contract to continue as our Rabbi. This was a very hard decision for Rabbi Marshall. She has decided to take time for personal and rabbinic growth and to explore other aspects of her rabbinate.

As hard as it is to hear the Rabbi’s choice, I totally understand and support her decision. I want to thank Rabbi Marshall for her amazing leadership and service to the Temple and our Community. It has been a wonderful journey in which we have all shared special moments.

The Rabbi and I have started working on a transition plan. Her contract ends on June 30, 2017 . In the meantime, Rabbi Marshall is fully with us and will continue supporting our community.

We are a strong community and have been through a rabbinic transition before. We understand the importance of a thoughtful process which ensures that we are meeting the needs of our congregants. The Board has begun the conversation with the URJ (Union for Reform Judaiam) and the CCAR (Central Conference of American Rabbis) around the steps and support needed in working through a rabbinic transition. The Board will be evaluating a number of approaches going forward such as putting together a Rabbinic Search Committee and evaluating the options for short-term transitional rabbinic services. The Board will work closely with our Committee Chairs and our Religious School Director to make sure we have plans in place to meet the needs of our congregation as Rabbi Marshall transitions away, a new rabbi transitions in and/or we have a rotation and/or gap in rabbinic presence.

Temple members will be actively engaged in helping to shape what this new future will look like. We will need members to represent our wonderfully diverse community and serve on a Rabbinic Search Committee and Transition Team. It is critical that we share our voices to help sharpen our vision and begin to turn that into reality.

In order to keep everyone informed about this transition, we will use the Orbits and our web site to post updates as we have them. Watch both locations for an upcoming announcement regarding an initial membership meeting in February, to begin to talk as a community about the transition.

For those of you who choose to share this with your children we acknowledge that this might be confusing and/or hard for them to understand. Please let your children know that there will be time at Religious School for them to talk with Rabbi Marshall. The Rabbi and Amy Paquette are working out the details and we will let everyone know as soon as the plan is finalized.

We know it can be hard to wait for information- we will keep communication flowing as best we can with all the moving pieces. Thank you for your support!

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

L’shalom
Mark Bresnick
TBO Board President

afriedma / From Our Presidents /

I have a photograph: a forty-one year old, beaming with pure joy, pride, and enthusiasm, holding a bat mitzvah certificate. I am on the front steps of my beloved spiritual home, Temple Beth Or. On this chai 18th anniversary year of my bat mitzvah, I now stand before you, the congregation, eager for us to know each other. Together may we continue to open the doors of the synagogue and our hearts, exploring, sharing, and growing on our spiritual journey in sacred community.

Sheryl, 9 years old; Sheryl in 1996

Perhaps for my parents, it would have meant a loss of dignity to request a scholarship. Perhaps it was simply that this education wasn’t “expected” or “necessary” for a girl growing up in a Conservative Brooklyn shul in the 1960s. For me, it was a deep loss that I could not comprehend. Why did I have to stop and my brother have to go? He would have happily traded places with me! I was a good girl, a “bright” student. After all, I earned 22% extra credit on my test! Didn’t I matter? My only consolation was that I would go to the Temple on Sunday mornings with my Dad. There I had a place at the table, nourished by the spirited chanting of prayers by male elders.

This denial of formal education did not make me turn away from the synagogue. Instead it seems to have been the start of an on-going yearning and struggle to feel a true sense of Jewish belonging with my family, my community, our God. I was able to find a rich connection in hearing the cantor, humming to myself the deep, penetrating Hebrew melodies. I also remember clearly the words above the Aron Kodesh, the Holy Ark: “Know Before Whom Thou Standest.” This command increased my sense of wonder and awe, pondering, “Was I the “Thou?” How indeed could I “know” “who” was before me?

No guidance to explore these questions was offered at this point in my life. Yet, the internal “knowing” of the Presence was indeed present in the innocence, mystery, respect, and deep thirst I felt as a child. She is here still…

And here I am, decades later. It is Tevet 5774 (December 2013), the time of my father’s yahrzeit. I am among 5,000 Jews at the URJ (Union of Reform Judaism) Biennial Conference in San Diego, the very city where he died 28 years ago. This is a place of deep personal convergence of time: immersed in the intensity of the moment (shehecheyanu!), standing at the threshold of

becoming president of our congregation, and remembering and recognizing anew the roots of my adulthood. It was here in my 20s that I found precious
companions who welcomed, awakened, and lovingly challenged me. I carry so many blessings from that time in my
life — the bold, innovative women of the San Diego Woman’s Institute for Continuing Jewish Education, and the warmth of the Hillel Chavurah where I met my husband, Jeff.

L ’shalom,

Sheryl Shapiro

afriedma / From Our Presidents /

This article will be my last as Temple President. It is hard to believe that the two years of my term are already nearly over. I began in 2012 with a theme of L’Dor va’Dor, talking about sustaining a future for Judaism at Temple Beth Or for our children and their children.

While sitting in services during High Holy Days this year and listening to the reading of the Torah portion in Deuteronomy in which Moses is giving his last oration to the Jewish people, I realized that L’ Dor va’Dor is an
underlying theme of the entire Torah. Moses says, “You stand this day, all of you, before the Eternal your God…” He references past generations. He says the covenant with the people of Israel is a covenant for present and future generations who follow in the path of Torah. The Torah has told the story of generation to generation from the beginning with B’reishit through Noah, Abraham and the patriarchs and matriarchs, and finally to Moses. With this last speech, Moses knows that sustaining the tradition of L’Dor va’Dor is now up to the people themselves. His role is finished.

The history of the Jewish people for the past several millennia is one of struggling to survive amidst adversity. The Babylonians conquered Judah and sacked the first Temple in 587 BCE. Fast forward to the destruction of the second Temple in 70 CE, the diaspora, the Crusades, the Inquisition, and to the modern era with the Holocaust and persistent anti-Semitism to this day.

Yet through the efforts of our forebearers we endure and continue our traditions, our culture and our beliefs. Not that they would recognize a Shabbat service at TBO on a Friday night, especially a first Friday family Shabbat! But they would recognize our commitment to the core values expressed in our mission statement: lifelong learning through struggle with Torah, the many Tikkun Olam projects in our community, Tzedakah, and our focus on community and family (K’hilah/ Mishpacha).

One might contend that an organized Jewish presence is not necessary to sustain the traditions. But there is a difference between praying together as a community and praying alone, between learning as a group and learning alone, between working together to make a difference and acting alone. And the disparity is especially critical for our children who may be one of few or the only Jews in their classes in school. TBO provides essential glue to help us cement our Jewish heritage into all of our lives.

How is TBO doing? I am encouraged by the engagement of so many of you in Temple activities. It has been especially gratifying to see the increase in the number of children attending our Religious School this year. I am excited about the Rabbi’s outreach projects. High Holy Days were a wonderful experience. We have an exciting new adult education program. The book club, Mah Jongg and Rosh Chodesh are well attended. But it is not the programs that will enable TBO to survive and thrive for our children. It is all of you who make TBO such a wonderful place. You are the glue.

L’Dor va’Dor. Moses left it in our hands.

L’shalom,

Harold Dash

afriedma / From Our Presidents, Uncategorized /

Ben Zoma said:

“Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Who is strong? The one who subdues his evil (negative) inclination.

Who is wealthy? The one who appreciates what he has.
Who is honored? The one who gives honor to others.”
—Talmud, Pirkei Avot 4:1

I like to think of Ben Zoma’s quotation from the Talmud as part of my personal mission statement. It reminds me to walk humbly and be part of a greater universe. I also see Ben Zoma’s wisdom at work at TBO and would like to share with you some ways I believe his thoughts relate to Temple Beth Or.

Wisdom: I am constantly awed by the amazing collective wisdom of our Rabbi and our congregants. When issues, questions, and concerns arise at TBO, congregants are there to help. For example, when one of our congregants suddenly lost her mother and her house, members of our Mitzvah Corps sprang into action by not only preparing meals for her, but also housing her until they were able to secure her housing, and helping to get her back on her feet.

Strength: I am filled with positive energy at TBO events, and particularly at our Governing Board meetings. Rather than use their Board positions to champion personal causes and concerns, members of your TBO Board put the needs and concerns of the congregation first and foremost in their decisions. In addition, thanks to former president Heidi Piel, we have created a consensus decision-making process on the Board, where all Board members need to be in consensus to move forward on an issue. This process removes the competitive and contentious winners and losers aspect of Board votes, making for rich dialogue. It also avoids hurt feelings. I invite you to a Board meeting to see how well it works.

Wealth: We are wealthy beyond measure in the way we care for each other, celebrate together, comfort each other during hard times, and come together as a community to celebrate our Judaism. We should all feel great pride in what we have created, sustained, and grown. We have been living within our means and have been able to do wonderful things together over the past few years despite the current economic climate.

Honor: One of my favorite things to do at TBO is to listen to the b’nei mitzvah candidates’ divrei Torah. I always learn so much and it gives me great pleasure to see a room full of congregants showing such respect for our youth, as they teach us from their hearts. As my presidency nears its close, I will miss having the honor of saying a few words from the bimah to honor each student.

It has also been an honor to have the support, respect, camaraderie, and sincere appreciation that I have felt so strongly during my presidency. As much as I have given, I have gained.

L’Shalom,

Ron Green

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